Far be it from me, The Wurst Brewer Fan In The World, to throw in the towel so early in the 2013 season, after all, I have these clowns finishing 87-75, so there's a lot of work to be done on their part. But as owner Mark Attanasio blurted out this afternoon, "I don't like what I see out there", it's becoming painfully obvious that the wart that is the month of May 4-16 record, may indeed be cancerous.
After dropping two of three to the lowly Dodgers, whose own manager's head, the noggin belonging to Don Mattingly, is said to be on the proverbial chopping block, the Blewers proved once again that when the ship begins to sink, the holes become more and more impossible to plug.
The first salvo struck the "closer" John Axford, who blew his fair share of games early on when they bolted out of the docks with a 2-8 record, and accelerated additional damage to the bow when the Kingsford Bullpen once again stumbled in clutch situations, blowing leads like twenty dollar bills for two beers at $8.50 Miller Park.
The second round landed on the starting pitching, exposing a gaping hole where Wily Peralta and Hiram Burgos now reside. Not even a drunken binge by Yovani Goneyardo could change the Karma, although his beer induced DUI did fuel an inexplicable nine game winning streak. Imagine for an instant, where this outfit would be without THAT winning streak?
The third volley struck the mental capacity of every Brewer running the bases, most notably Carlos Gomez, the darling of Doug Melvin's eye. Carlos was picked off third base, yes, picked off third base last night and made the first out there today with his team in a 6-0 hole in the 2nd inning.
Base running gaffes aside, the final blow to this excruciating and god awful month of May muscle pull is manifesting itself in untimely hitting, with the leading culprit being one Richard Weeks, he of the .169 batting average.
That leaves the lone skipper, Ron Roenicke, and his captains, Ed Sedar and Rick Kranitz among them, to bristle in the dugout and await the Mutiny that is beginning to assemble among the Screwer faithful.
You can run, but you cannot hide. Unfortunately for the Blewer coaching staff, if they run anything like their players, they might as well just take my advice and abandon the ship altogether.
After all, the Mighty Pirates sail in this Memorial Day weekend with more than pillaging on their minds.
And For What